New apartment madness

There's a saying here - "Welcome to India."

Here’s my entire situation. I moved in this past Saturday, and it was a huge relief to finally have a permanent home. I took a long, hot shower – with good water pressure – which is impossible to find in India. I started unpacking my bags. On Sunday the phone company came and set up my phone and internet. Things were looking up.

Sunday I found out that my buddy Jamie’s lease was up on the 1st, and he was having a hard time finding a place. I offered to let him stay until he found a new place. I’ve got four bedrooms, so why not? We talked about a few weeks. Nothing concrete, mind you, but not forever. The way this apartment is set up (2 floors), we’d probably barely bump into each other.

Yesterday Jamie moved in, and I got a call from my landlord. He was livid. Over the next 24 hours he sent rude e-mails and chewed out my real estate agent. He said that he felt “taken advantage of.” I couldn’t understand why. He insisted that we meet at 10:30 the next morning (today), and so we did.

Now I get it. The landlord wants a copy of a passport and visa for all expats that visit me, regardless of duration. He wants to have approval over who visits me and for how long. All guests must provide their full name and phone number. Native resident Indians are not allowed to spend the night. Dogs may visit, interestingly enough, but may not spend the night. And Jamie’s girlfriend is from an important agricultural family, and since the landlord generally doesn’t approve of a girl from that family dating a white expat, she can never come back. My driver, Murthi, is not allowed upstairs. All of my (and Jamie’s) movements are being monitored. The doorman, the maids, and some of the other tenants (the landlord owns the building) are logging our every move. The landlord informed me that Jamie left this morning at 10:15; I cross-checked that with Jamie, and it’s true. The landlord calls this policy, “constant vigilance.”

This has nothing to do with business in India. This is a unique form of madness. My real estate agent was present for the entire 2 ½ hour diatribe and said later that in 10 years of business he had never encountered a landlord like this. I just got lucky – a one-in-a-million shot. It’s unfortunate that Jamie dropping in has triggered all of this. On the other hand, I’m glad that I learned the “hidden details” about the property early on.

So what next? I spoke to Jamie, and he laughed about the whole situation, and will be out in the morning. I’ve given the landlord a copy of my passport and visa. I think those actions have bought me a lot of goodwill. The landlord clearly likes me personally, and wants to play golf with me. My real estate agent has advised me to buddy up to the landlord over the next month – while simultaneously looking for a new apartment – and then claim that I’ve been suddenly recalled to the US as soon as I find a place. I would be surprised if we have trouble getting the deposit back, but you never know. In even my best case we’re out 60 days rent (you need to give that much written notice).

Happy Halloween!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

This is probably my favorite holiday every year. I'm happy to say that I was able to celebrate it in traditional fashion - two of the expatriate clubs in India combined for an evening to throw a joint costume party, and it drew 50-100 people. They held it on the lawn outside of a nice hotel. It was a fairly tame party, but I got to meet a lot of new people. I hope you all had great costumes, and great stories!

Eagleton

Last Christmas my parents gave me one of their old sets of clubs. I started playing every few weeks (mostly with Nic). I love the relaxing, slow pace, and the social aspect of golf. Towards the middle of the summer I upgraded to TaylorMade Rac OS2's. It looks like I'm going to need to bring them to India.

Golf doesn't seem to be popular here. And apparently it's very prestigious to be a member of the exclusive golf clubs (which are all open to the public), even if you don't play golf. So all those membership fees are maintaining beautiful, empty courses. And I get to play them.

On Friday I ran out for nine holes before work at a place called Eagleton, which is about 30 minutes outside of the city. What a great way to start the day! Things that make Eagleton different from the courses I'm used to playing in the US:

- It only costs $25 to play 18 holes

- The course was immaculately maintained - but by people, not machines. I saw a woman with a knife cutting the weeds... one at a time! There must be dozens of people working on the grass.

- I had a caddy to carry my clubs and advise me on where to shoot. The best part was the greens; he would point to where I needed to putt, and he was always right.

- There are virtually no hazards. Only one hole had water. So there was very little stress about where you were aiming. I figure I shot just above par, which is awesome for me.

Pictures: My buddy Jamie, the course, me under a buddha statue (on the course, oddly enough)

News from India 2

Another crazy headline...

Monkeys attack Delhi politician

Delhi has long struggled to cope with marauding monkeys. The deputy mayor of the Indian capital Delhi has died a day after being attacked by a horde of wild monkeys. SS Bajwa suffered serious head injuries when he fell from the first-floor terrace of his home on Saturday morning trying to fight off the monkeys. The city has long struggled to counter its plague of monkeys, which invade government complexes and temples, snatch food and scare passers-by. The High Court ordered the city to find an answer to the problem last year.

News from India 1

Figured you would enjoy this headline...

A goat that eats meat and drinks too!

If you think goats are vegetarian, you haven't yet met Mantu - a male goat here that eats meat and drinks liquor.

The two-and-a-half-year-old goat lives at the Sana Bada Dhaba, a roadside eatery here, 350 km from the state capital Bhubaneswar.

'The animal has been living in the dhaba since its birth and slowly developed the habit of eating non-vegetarian food,' dhaba owner Sana Naik, who named the goat, told IANS.

Mantu does not like grass - the staple diet of other goats. 'The goat eats the cooked meat of other goats that we serve to customers,' he said. 'Because of its peculiar habits, we are not killing it.'

The goat also drinks liquor. It obeys commands like monkeys.

'If you ask it to perform a death scene, it will lie on the ground as if dead. You ask it to show a fight scene, it will demonstrate like a warrior,' he said.

The goat amuses customers and they share their food with it.

'The goat is the main attraction of the eatery,' said Satya Mohanty, a frequent visitor. 'Whenever we come to this area, we love to eat in this dhaba because of the goat,' he said.

'Goats are generally vegetarian. They eat grass, fruit and vegetables. But some of them that live with humans for a long time develop habits like humans,' Subhendru Sudha Sarangi, a veterinary doctor, told IANS. Sarangi too loves the meat-eating goat and treats him free of cost.

But perhaps the person who loves Mantu the most is dhaba owner Naik.

'I love the goat so much. It is like my own child. I am looking for a female goat as its bride,' Naik said. 'I am planning to organise the marriage in a big way, may be next August.

'I will also host a grand feast. My customers, who include ministers, legislators, officials, businessmen and journalists, have assured me that they will join the feast and bless the goat couple.'

Chikmagular Plantation

This weekend I was invited by my friends to stay at their coffee plantation in Chikmagular. My first thought was that I wanted to be alone for the weekend. It was a trying week, and I needed a break from things. But I know that I'll also need a base of friends here in Bangalore if I'm going to make things work, so I decided to go anyway. I signed up to go with no idea what I was in store for, and a vague sense that I need to socialize to survive.

We left late at night, after midnight, in order to beat the crazy Bangalore traffic. After a four-hour drive we arrived in Chikmagular. It's a sleepy village where donkeys and cows roam the streets. It's also home to - shock and surprise - a nine-hole golf course. I played five holes and then, when we were swinging back by the clubhouse, we broke for lunch. We never finished the round because old army jeeps came by to pick us up. A veritable Mr. Toad's Wild Ride ensued through winding mountain roads. Imagine sliding around muddy, hairpin turns with no guard rails, and the wheels finally getting a grip only inches from a 500-foot drop. And that goes on for 45 minutes. "By my math," I said at the end, "we should be dead." Someone responded, "It's a good thing you're not good at math."

<-- Before the road got rough

The coffee plantation, it turns out, is not a resort by another name. It is in fact a working coffee plantation that was started by the family three generations ago. Life there is very simple and very slow. There are no phone lines, there's no cell phone service, there are no city sounds (cars, horns, music, etc) and electrical power comes and goes. And it is breath-takingly beautiful. Imagine a valley, filled with mist, and ringed by lush mountains. But prettier.

above left: scenic view, above right: the actual coffee plantation, below: mist-filled valley

Fergalicious

After not doing much in my first weekend (I was still exhausted from the time change), I had a fun second week in India. Apparently big acts come through Bangalore about once per year. That's "big" in terms relative to Bangalore. They still talk about the time Deep Purple played here (about 10 years ago) and when Pink Floyd's guitarist came (two years ago). So you can imagine my surprise when I was invited to the Black Eyed Peas concert on Tuesday.

They had an extra ticket, so I was happy to go along. Concerts in India are a trip. There are no seats, so standing areas are first-come, first serve. And people are packed together hours before the show starts. It reminded me a lot of seeing Radiohead at Bonnaroo - people shoulder to shoulder, front to back, no personal space and lots of body heat. We managed to squeeze ourselves up nearly to the front (10 people back), and a little off to the right. As soon as the concert started, it was a sea of humanity - everyone jumping up and down to the music (there was no room to dance) and throwing their hands in the air. The Peas put on a great show. It was really high-energy, and I was surprised they could keep it going for three hours. By the end I was exhausted.

By the way, have I mentioned how early everything shuts down in Bangalore? Legally, everything has to close by 11:30pm. There are some small bars that skirt the rules, but almost everyone abides by them. Concerts are no exception to the rule.

In any case, the end of the concert was not the end of the night. My friend made some calls, found out where the Black Eyed Peas were staying, and then we rushed to stake out their hotel bar. Sure enough, the Peas were downstairs within a few minutes. So for about an hour I drank Kingfishers and hung around with the Black Eyed Peas. There are no photos, and I don't have any wild stories. They seem like pretty normal people.

On Wednesday I went to a dressy, invite-only Jack Daniels party (Jack's 157th birthday). Whisky is very big in India, and Jack is trying to break into the market. I'll admit that I had a few drinks, but nothing to explain the hours and hours of illness that followed. I ended up missing work the next day. It had all the hallmarks of food poisoning, and it was a bad case. What made it worse was that I didn't have a working cell phone, and I don't know many people in the country yet. So I spent Thursday feeling vulnerable, out of place, and gross. I spent a lot of time there rethinking my decision to come to India. I'm sure those feelings will come and go. In any case, it was a draining, exhausting week.

Mo' money mo' problems

I'm going to need a bigger wallet! Sometimes I forget how wild the the US dollar - Indian rupee exchange rate is (currently 1 to 39). I changed about $300 and they handed me this wad of cash. I could barely fit it in my pocket. Expenses here are a very mixed bag. Food is relatively cheap - a medium pizza is 200 Rs ($5) and a nice sit-down dinner might be 400 Rs ($10). And you can certainly eat cheaper than that. But a nice cell phone, for example, might run you 16,000 Rs ($400).

Last Stop: NYC

Since I had to lay over in New York anyway, I figured, why not stay for the weekend? Sometimes I forget how many people I know in New York. Mike, Mike, Foxy, Jason, Jun, and Aaron were all my fraternity brothers back at Emory, and all of them moved to the big apple after school. And Rachel, Aislinn, Patrick, and Kristine have all drifted there for one reason or another. This was an amazing night - I had hoped to reconnect with a few people (expecting two or three), but I got to see almost everyone at once! We had a late night out in Manhattan, drifting from my hotel bar, to Fox's swanky apartment, to a bar with six beers on tap - apparently quite the rarity, to a "fake" dive bar with torn-up seats. Thanks to everyone who came out, I had a great time!

TRX send-off

<-(Highland Tap) TRX's send-off was great. We met up at a bar across the street from the office (maybe even closer than that - we practically share a parking lot) called Fuzzy's. My only regret about the place is that is smells like an ashtray. But it was a good chance to have some pitchers and say goodbye to a big group of people. Then the Finance department moved on to one of my favorite bars in the Virginia Highlands, a place called Highland Tap. It's on the corner of Virginia and Highland but it's hard to see - it's basically in a basement. They have one of the top three burgers in town (#1 Ann's Snack Bar, #2 Vortex, #3 Highland Tap) and I ordered it with no hesitation; beef will be rare in India, where cows are sacred.

Leah and Anita at Fuzzy's

The gang at Fuzzy's. From left to right: Banks, Carter, Joe, Laurence, and Leah

Best toupee ever

Sorry that I've gotten so far behind. The week of leaving the US and arriving in Bangalore has been a busy one. But I'm settled now, and should be posting regularly.

I saw this toupee in the Publix parking lot before I left, and it's the best I've ever seen, so I feel obliged to share.

PS - Is it just me, or does it seem like toupee should be spelled differently?